One of the quiet hazards of seniority is that feedback dries up. People become more careful around you. Your mistakes are discussed in hallways rather than to your face. And without noticing, you start operating on an increasingly outdated picture of how you come across.
Receiving feedback well is one of the most important skills a senior leader can build.
Why it’s hard
Feedback lands on our identity. When someone says the meeting I ran felt rushed, part of me hears “you’re not a good leader.” That reaction is human, but it gets in the way of learning.
Asking in a way that gets real answers
“Do you have any feedback for me?” almost always produces “No, it’s all good.” Try instead:
- “What’s one thing I could do differently that would make your job easier?”
- “In that meeting, what did I do that helped? What got in the way?”
- “What’s something people might be hesitant to tell me?”
Specific, low-stakes questions get specific, useful answers.
How you respond determines whether you’ll hear it again
When you get feedback, your only job in that moment is to understand it. Not to explain, defend, or correct. Say “thank you,” ask a clarifying question if needed, and stop.
Then — and this is crucial — go back later and tell the person what you did with it. That single step turns a one-time comment into an ongoing flow of honesty.
Separate the signal from the noise
Not all feedback is accurate, and you don’t need to act on all of it. Look for patterns. If you hear the same thing from three different people, it’s worth taking seriously, even if it stings.
Coaching and feedback
Structured stakeholder input is often part of an executive coaching engagement. A coach can help you gather honest feedback, make sense of it, and decide what to do — without the defensiveness that comes from receiving it alone.