Ask most leaders what they value and you’ll hear thoughtful answers: developing people, integrity, family, innovation, health. Then look at their calendars. Often, the two tell very different stories.
This gap isn’t hypocrisy. It’s the natural result of pressure. When everything is urgent, we default to what’s loudest, not what matters most.
An exercise worth doing
Print last month’s calendar. Using a highlighter, mark every block that directly reflects one of your top three values. If you value developing people, that’s one-on-ones, mentoring, and feedback conversations — not status updates. If you value health, it’s the time you actually spent exercising or resting.
Then look at the proportion. Most leaders I’ve done this with are surprised, and not pleasantly.
Why it matters beyond you
Your team watches where your time goes. If you say people development matters and then cancel one-on-ones whenever something urgent comes up, your team learns what you actually value. Culture is built far more by what leaders do with their time than by anything they say.
Closing the gap
You don’t need to overhaul your entire calendar. Pick one value and make one change:
- Protect one recurring block that serves it, and treat it like a board meeting.
- Remove or delegate one recurring commitment that doesn’t.
- Tell someone about the change, so it becomes a public commitment.
The coaching question
When I explore values with clients, I often ask: When were you last proud of how you led — not what you achieved? The answer almost always points to a value you were honoring. That moment is a clue to what deserves more space in your week.